Are you currently single? Single again? (after a divorce or being a widow/widower) Or single again and a again like I am…. 🙂

Being single has a lot of perks that you really do not learn to appreciate until you have been married/divorced, or have been in a long lasting relationship that ended.

A lot of people think that without that special person in their life, their life has no meaning. I am here to tell you that this is not so. God has a plan for everyone. He knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb. I have found that God is all I need.

In the Bible, it is the single people who have more time to serve the Lord. This is ultimately what God wants. He wants us to serve Him. If we are married and/or are in a relationship it is the spouse or the boyfriend/girlfriend who becomes our main focus over God. Have you found this to be true? Think about it.

What’s wrong with being single? NOTHING!!! Being single is what we make of it. The older you get (in my opinion) the easier it is to be single. The younger you are, you long for that special person to want you, to love you, and to marry you. I think everyone at some point and time in their lives want that special person to live/share their lives with. We want that person to grow old with and be our companion as we grow older. That someone who knows you like no one else knows you. Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn’t it?

If you are single, as I am today. Take heart that God still has a plan for you. Dating for me is out of the question at this point in my life. (Unless it is God’s will…lol.. but, I’ve told Him, if He wants me to meet someone He is going to have to put him in front of my nose, as I am not looking…lol) Laughter is the best medicine as noted in Proverbs!

If you are interested in dating. I will be praying for you. Especially today with modern technology. My recommendation would be to find a good Bible based church that has an awesome singles ministry and join a small group. Participating in a singles ministry does not mean that you will find that special someone in your life. But, it will guarantee meaningful friendships with people that you can do things with. You can socialize and build friendships that may lead to that special someone in your life one day. Whether you find that special person or not, you will not always be sitting at home and waiting on a phone call, or watching Hallmark movies and wishing you had someone special. You will be involved within a small group that will schedule outings, that will volunteer and help people, that will allow you to mentor to others who may be younger than you, who will help you to learn and grow closer to God. You will build a network of people who will be able to help you in your time of need. You will become a part of a network that you will be able to contribute to and help others when they need it.

I was brought up with the theory that you’ll never find that special someone in a bar and nothing good happens after midnight. Does that sound familiar? I’m not going to tell you that. Because I realize that not all singles have a relationship with Jesus Christ. That there are singles out there who enjoy going to the bars and having their version of fun. Everyone’s version of fun is different.

The question you need to ask yourself is what are you looking for? Or I should say who are you looking for? What are the traits you are looking for in “your” special someone? Now, look at your list. In looking at your list, ask yourself “Where am I most likely going to find the characteristics on this list that I want “my” special someone to have? Is it going to be at work? Is it going to be at school? Is it going to be in a bar? Is it going to be Online? Is it going to be in church? Is it going to be on a sports team or in a hobby group? Where?

The best advice I can give you is to TAKE IT SLOW and PRAY!!! Getting the date and starting a relationship is the easy part. It is cultivating the relationship and keeping it going that is going to be the hard part. Relationships take work. Anything worth having is worth working for. (That is another one of the theory’s that I was brought up with.) But, it is true.

Just for fun one night….write yourself a pros and cons list for single vs. married… and see where you end up. You can do the same list for single versus a relationship. Let me know where you ended up on the pros and cons list.

There is one thing that I always recommend to single people. You have to be happy with yourself before you can ever be in a successful relationship. You need to live out on your own and learn to be happy where you currently are in your life. It is no one else’s job to make you happy. And you cannot rely on anyone else to make you happy. You have to be happy and content in your life. A special person in your life does not complete you and does not provide lasting happiness. The honeymoon period wears off. Where are you on the happiness scale? (Pick a number from 1 – 10 with 1 being not happy at all and 10 being very happy with your life and where you are in your life right now.)

Till next time, enjoy being single. Find a good Bible based church. Find a good singles group and start building some new friendships.