Working within the Foster Care System with Children Services is definitely challenging. The main question you need to ask yourself is why are you working with or considering working with foster kids? If you are doing it for the pay check. Stay out of it as these kids deserve a lot better than that. If you are doing it to help these kids, and you have a passion to help these kids, then may God bless you as you travel this journey.

If you currently have children of your own, then you need to have a family meeting and talk to your kids about adding foster children into the mix of your family. It is important for everyone to be on the same page. You do not want your children to think you are replacing them or they are not good enough and you are looking for new kids, or better kids, etc. Believe me, if you do not communicate with your kids, and tell them what you are thinking about and asking for their input, they will have some of these thoughts and feelings. By taking on foster children, it will disrupt your current family routine and everyone needs to be well aware of this. Everyone’s life will change once a foster child is placed in your home. You need to be prepared for this.

If you currently do not have children of your own, then you need to be prepared to move forward as a couple because life as you know it as a couple without children will no longer be the same. Children Services will try to prepare you for having children live with you, but, until they are there, you will never really understand the impact they are going to have on your lives. Your lives will change and you need to be prepared and expect this to occur.

Bringing foster children into your home is very different then having your own children. These kids have been through a lot and have been displaced from their homes and they have a lot of challenges that will need to be worked through. These kids did not ask for this in their lives and they do not totally understand what is happening. (This will depend on the age of the children. The older kids will understand what is going on. but, that does not mean that they like it.)

In working with the foster children, you will also be working with their families. You will be working with mom and/or dad in trying to reunite the family as they go through counseling and meet their plan requirements for reunification. This is another layer of changes that will impact your family dynamics.

My heart aches for these kids. They are so young and have been through so much in their short little lives. The same for the older kids. The majority of the foster children today have lacked the responsible parents that were supposed to take care of them and love them after they were brought into this world. The sad thing is that no matter how their parents have treated them, they still want to be with their mom and/or dad. It’s their family as they know it. One of the things that we need to realize is that everyone has their own definition of a normal family. What is normal to you or I is different than what these children view or have experienced as normal.

I would recommend that you pray about being a foster parent before you commit to this role. Are your motives pure and from the heart? Do you really want to help these children and become a positive role model in their lives as you learn to love them?

Think long and hard on this before taking the leap. These children deserve all that we have to give them. They are worth so much more – than it’s just a paycheck.

May your heart be full of love, compassion, empathy, and patience if you move forward to reach out and care for these children!